Confessions of a Watering Can

I am very emotional and have a very clear idea of what I want and what I don't. Therefore when the tiniest of things goes awry I feel the pinch. Pinch by pinch it builds up until enough angst has accumulated to make me feel caged even in an open field with my favorite people. It is at times like these that crying is cathartic. The feeling of warm tears rolling down my cheeks is nice in a way that I cannot explain. It's not just the tears but an outflow of all the negativity in me at that point in time- sadness, unused energy, pent up emotions, frustration, guilt, feelings of not being loved/cared for enough, exhaustion, homesickness, illness. The mass of negativity ebbs out and leaves me feeling calm and composed. While I hate letting go like that in front of others and prefer to get it over with in private, there are some whose mere presence calms me. With them I can be my worst- weepy, childish, indecisive, cynical and blue, jealous, catty, unreasonable, selfish and demanding- and still have their respect. Their faith in me is what has made me who I am and they mean the world to me. If there's one thing in the world that can really break me, it is losing one of them. God, please never let that day come.